”“Not going to matter any which way if someone’s not here in 5 minutes.” The man began to grumbleabout gratitude.Later, when Kim was deciding what not to tell Denise about her evening, she reflected carefully onthat moment. She was not sure what the men were talking about, but a “game” that meant wearingslutty clothes and being paid ten thousand dollars could not be anything she would tell her mumabout. Even before the men started talking, when people were leaving because the musicstopped, she had an uncomfortable moment of self-awareness. She was alone in a crap bar, dressedup to attract the attention of men when none were looking at her, ready to party when surroundedby silence. The man’s comment about her look should have made her feel worse. It certainly jarred, but the sharpness of the pain was enervating, making her angry with herself. What was she doing, going out with Denise like this, on the hunt for some man, any man? Sitting in that bar waiting for Denise was just as much a. No longer afraid or ashamed, James looked hard at me, anger and resolve showing in his face. ‘I think you’re insane.’ I let out a loud cackle, resounding across the entire room. Len shivered. ‘Insane?! Oh no. Not even close. I was insane when you left me. I was insane when I was having all of those wet dreams. I was insane when I found out how therapeutic cutting myself and overdosing on pills was. But now? No. I’m not insane. I’m getting what you promised me.’ His stance didn’t change. He instead raised his eyebrows as he glared heavily at me, his piercing stare no longer striking fear into me. ‘Getting what I promised you?’ he questioned. ‘And risk my killing you?’ Len gasped, grabbing her husband’s arm. ‘James, please don’t,’ she whispered. I looked up at the ceiling and sighed heavily. ‘You know, James, what I really wanted after you left me was death. But the sad part is, I wanted you more than I wanted death. I wanted to have you back so much, and I wanted a family so bad,.
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